It's been a month to the day since Nathan turned one and I've been meaning to write a little something about that to kick off a new regular writing project. I generally don't write anything serious here, and believe me, this will be a little serious, but filled with amusing things that will allow you to laugh at me. And then I'll cry because you're laughing at me, but you'll think I'm crying because I'm being all sentimental when in reality I'm only crying because you're laughing at me...and because it's been a year since I've slept through the night. :-) And we're off.
When I found out I was going to have a baby, I was terrified. Seriously terrified at the thought of having to keep a baby alive. Because that's not just something you just WANT to do...you HAVE to. I had never handled a baby under the age of one before. People would offer, "Here, hold my baby." "No thanks", I would always answer hoping they weren't offended. Really, I didn't want to break their fragile child because that's what happens when you handle tiny humans. At least that's what I thought. But this time, I didn't have a choice. If I didn't hold this particular baby...IMMEDIATELY...I would be the worst dad in the world and would not be a contender for father of the year. Skip ahead to the day he was born; I was REALLY terrified that day, but I'm pretty sure exhaustion won out. "Sit down", the nurse warned. "Some of the dads faint at this point". What?? Why would you tell me that NOW?! I wasn't groggy. I wasn't wobbly. At that point, adreniline was flowing pretty steadily and Katharine hadn't yelled anything horrible at me so I was doing good. Planting a fainting suggestion in my head was probably something I could have done without! I had enough to worry about already! So then Nathan was there, with his cone head and all his fingers and toes in tact...even if he did look like a small alien at first. He cleaned up well and that look went away almost instantly.
The first night with him, I couldn't sleep. He slept just fine unless he was hungry, but I checked him all night long to make sure he was breathing. That behavior went on for...hmmmm...let me see. Hold on, I need to go upstairs and make sure he's breathing.
So along with never having held a small baby, I never changed a diaper. Sure, people had offered previously, but I'm not an idiot. This was a job I could get out of any time someone offered without looking like an asshole. Until Nathan came along. This was now MY RESPONSIBILITY and he made sure I had many opportunities to practice. It's true, and Katharine will tell you, that a couple of times I wasn't fast enough...and if you've ever changed a diaper "not fast enough", you know how that turns out. Messy.
When I found out I was going to have a baby, I was terrified. Seriously terrified at the thought of having to keep a baby alive. Because that's not just something you just WANT to do...you HAVE to. I had never handled a baby under the age of one before. People would offer, "Here, hold my baby." "No thanks", I would always answer hoping they weren't offended. Really, I didn't want to break their fragile child because that's what happens when you handle tiny humans. At least that's what I thought. But this time, I didn't have a choice. If I didn't hold this particular baby...IMMEDIATELY...I would be the worst dad in the world and would not be a contender for father of the year. Skip ahead to the day he was born; I was REALLY terrified that day, but I'm pretty sure exhaustion won out. "Sit down", the nurse warned. "Some of the dads faint at this point". What?? Why would you tell me that NOW?! I wasn't groggy. I wasn't wobbly. At that point, adreniline was flowing pretty steadily and Katharine hadn't yelled anything horrible at me so I was doing good. Planting a fainting suggestion in my head was probably something I could have done without! I had enough to worry about already! So then Nathan was there, with his cone head and all his fingers and toes in tact...even if he did look like a small alien at first. He cleaned up well and that look went away almost instantly. The first night with him, I couldn't sleep. He slept just fine unless he was hungry, but I checked him all night long to make sure he was breathing. That behavior went on for...hmmmm...let me see. Hold on, I need to go upstairs and make sure he's breathing.So along with never having held a small baby, I never changed a diaper. Sure, people had offered previously, but I'm not an idiot. This was a job I could get out of any time someone offered without looking like an asshole. Until Nathan came along. This was now MY RESPONSIBILITY and he made sure I had many opportunities to practice. It's true, and Katharine will tell you, that a couple of times I wasn't fast enough...and if you've ever changed a diaper "not fast enough", you know how that turns out. Messy.I couldn't wait for him to roll from back to front. That was all I cared about...oh...and crawling. I just wanted him to crawl. And talk. Roll over from front to back, crawling and talking. So I've got two out of three of these so far...rolling happened a long time ago and crawling so much now that he's just about to walk. We do get the occasional "YAH" or "Mama" or "Dada" or the latest "Ball" and "NO"...and he might have said "Buh Bye" this morning. So talking is on track. Now I can't wait for him to walk completely because crawling requires his hands to be on the floor and then he pops his hands into his mouth...not ideal with a dog walking around or when he's in a sandbox. Walking gets him two feet on the floor and hands to pull things off shelves. So now, I just can't wait for him to walk and I'll start blocking things on shelves. All these milestones...can't wait. Excited about all of them. Really I want him to talk NOW. And walk NOW. And eat NOW withouth gurgling his food so I can worry about him choking on it. Trying to track all these milestones is becoming a part time job now, but it's fun. I want him to be able to see later how he progressed so I've been very detailed about it.
SO this post is getting really long already and I haven't gotten into any real details yet. I suppose I can't include everything or nobody will read it. I admit the sleepless nights are tough...I've been defeated there and I'm someone that used to stay up until the wee hours. Feeding him real food is a bit scary. Trying to chase him around is exhuasting. It's a little uncomfortable when he tried to gouge my eyes out with his Wolvering nails that I have to cut once a week. Now the serious part. Living this past year with Nathan has been quite an experience...best thing that ever happened to me and the most difficult thing at the same time. And now he's one, which means we did something right over that first year. The second year, I have a feeling, there will be much more to tell. This year, he learned how to eat, sleep, poop, roll, sit up, crawl, stand, throw food on the floor for the dog, keep his mom and dad up all night, and babble a few stray words. I can only imagine what I'll be talking about in the 2nd year post. So happy birthday a month ago to my son and thank you to Katharine...I certainly couldn't have done (or survived) any of this without you!! Here's to a successful first year!
SO this post is getting really long already and I haven't gotten into any real details yet. I suppose I can't include everything or nobody will read it. I admit the sleepless nights are tough...I've been defeated there and I'm someone that used to stay up until the wee hours. Feeding him real food is a bit scary. Trying to chase him around is exhuasting. It's a little uncomfortable when he tried to gouge my eyes out with his Wolvering nails that I have to cut once a week. Now the serious part. Living this past year with Nathan has been quite an experience...best thing that ever happened to me and the most difficult thing at the same time. And now he's one, which means we did something right over that first year. The second year, I have a feeling, there will be much more to tell. This year, he learned how to eat, sleep, poop, roll, sit up, crawl, stand, throw food on the floor for the dog, keep his mom and dad up all night, and babble a few stray words. I can only imagine what I'll be talking about in the 2nd year post. So happy birthday a month ago to my son and thank you to Katharine...I certainly couldn't have done (or survived) any of this without you!! Here's to a successful first year!
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